OK, God is trying to show me something, I think. I spend Monday through Friday yearning for a day off. So here it is President's Day 2010. The house is sparkling, Gianna and Felix are out. I've got what I wanted, a day off with nothing to do. I finished reading my book. Maybe I'll post it on Goodreads. It's a beautiful day, maybe I should go somewhere, nah. I'm not sleepy enough to take a nap. Face it, I'M BORED. Maybe I'll start to read another book. All I like to do is read. Maybe working all week isn't as bad as I think. Bo Feng tells me not to worry as much about whose learning what. He tells me don't care so much. Now he's off another person moving on. In July Darcie and her family will be moving away. By June 2011 Gianna will be finished with school. All these things that have caused do much worry and angst, finished. They can be checked off our to-do list as we rush toward what? The end of our lives. I started this as a rant/rave about how a day all alone can be boring, so it's best not to wish for it. If only I knew how to live in the moment. Take things one step at a time and take my own advice. I'm here with Gianna's cat. What a life these animals have. They trust that someone one will feed them, they exercise and sleep. They don't know or care if their day is "on" or "off". Maybe my work isn't as stressful as I think it is. Maybe if I was more like the cat, stop trying to control, stop over analyzing every decision just let it be. Let go and let god. Maybe
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Sounds like your last couple of sentences hit the nail on the head. If you spend so much time worrying NOW, you are one day going to wake up and realize you wasted a lot of GOOD moments. Sounds like you need to live one day at a time and if that doesn't work, try one hour at a time. Nobody ever said "let go and let God" is easy, but if you can do it even MOST of the time, you will feel a lot more settled, I suspect! Thinking good thoughts for you.
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