God is Good

This was a very stressful terrible week. I went to sleep totally exhausted dreading what I was infor on Friday. Six am Friday morning the alarm goes off. I dread getting out of bed. Then I get the no school call. I take the message, shut the phone off, hop out of bed and look out the window. Everything is blanketed under a thick cover of snow. The rusty chain linked fence across the street looks like lace. Felix's beat up old car looks like a perfect igloo. Everything looks clean and new. As I sit and savor a second cup of coffee I think, God kknows what I need especially when I don't. I usually hate snow but today it was a welcomed relief.

It's Been a Long Day

It's 10:30 pm and this is the first chance I've had to sit and have one minute to myself. I got out of bed at 6:00 am and as soon as my feet hit the floor I was off and running. On the car by 7:15 drop Gianna off at school, then off to work. The kids seemed glad to be back at school. My project for the 100th day of school went well with the five year olds. Then I had to help out in Preschool, those kids were wild. Back to my class for lunch and then off to the first grade. They weren't as excited about 100th day of anything. It's sad to realize that one of the people who started out with me will be leaving. Then off to the library for 5 more hours of work. The people there are fun to work with and I have so much more in common with them BUT IT'S BEEN ALONG DAY. I feel sad and tired. Things did not turn out the way I expected back in September. By giving up my twenty five hours at the library and leaving the nursery school I hurt alot of people. Peggy and Gail at the school. They really felt "left" behind. Then there were alot of kids who thought I would be their teacher, all the kids who came to Pajama Storytime. And myself. I wish I had stayed at the library. I love seeing the new books and helping people find books they need. It's a little thing but it was so satisfying. I constantly watched myself improve and learn new things at the library. But tonight my heart is heavy and I want to just close my eyes, forget everything and go to sleep, it's been a long day.

THE TV'S FIXED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All week I pined for the TV. This morning I went to the Teacher's store and Stop and Shop. When I returned with several heavy bags, Felix was in in deep conversation with a strange man in my living room. Not only did repair man fix the TV, he also reconnected the surround sound. Now, I'm sitting here while my family watches the Olympics in surround sound. Not only am I not a fan of the Olympics but it sounds as though they're in my living room!

Life Without TV

Our very expensive, relativly new TV broke the other night. We has to order a part. It'll be fixed by next Saturday (We hope). It's been interesting around here. For one thing the house looks nicer-there's not alot of junk tossed around the living room. We seem to be talking, writing and reading more. This could be a good thing. We're not plugged into alot of the Negative daily news or hysterical weather reports about snow (imagine that) during the month of February. It is actually peaceful and quiet around here, the calm before the storm?!

This Could Become a Habit

OK There's tons of things I need to dob but I'm back here. Felix and Gianna came home with news, they "found" a car for Gianna. I know I am not ready for this. I have a billion concerns. I'm too tired to write them down. So why am I posting this for every one to see? This could beecome another addiction like Facebook. I really need to correct homework packets and write objectives/assessments for the k/1 class. I need to log off and get started, but by the end of the day it's nice to be in my cozy bed with my laptop just typing away. Back to real work

Be Careful What You Wish For

OK, God is trying to show me something, I think. I spend Monday through Friday yearning for a day off. So here it is President's Day 2010. The house is sparkling, Gianna and Felix are out. I've got what I wanted, a day off with nothing to do. I finished reading my book. Maybe I'll post it on Goodreads. It's a beautiful day, maybe I should go somewhere, nah. I'm not sleepy enough to take a nap. Face it, I'M BORED. Maybe I'll start to read another book. All I like to do is read. Maybe working all week isn't as bad as I think. Bo Feng tells me not to worry as much about whose learning what. He tells me don't care so much. Now he's off another person moving on. In July Darcie and her family will be moving away. By June 2011 Gianna will be finished with school. All these things that have caused do much worry and angst, finished. They can be checked off our to-do list as we rush toward what? The end of our lives. I started this as a rant/rave about how a day all alone can be boring, so it's best not to wish for it. If only I knew how to live in the moment. Take things one step at a time and take my own advice. I'm here with Gianna's cat. What a life these animals have. They trust that someone one will feed them, they exercise and sleep. They don't know or care if their day is "on" or "off". Maybe my work isn't as stressful as I think it is. Maybe if I was more like the cat, stop trying to control, stop over analyzing every decision just let it be. Let go and let god. Maybe

Teaching Young Children

Back in 1985 when I was in graduate school, there was this "new" theory called Devlopmentally approprite practices. It really was the best way to teach young kids, and eventually it caught on. Now I move to New Jersey have a kid of my own put her in a nursery school that is NAEYC accredited and I assume most schools are doing the right thing. Once I start teaching first grade in 1998, I don't keep up with DAP or NAEYC. Ten years later, I'm working in PreK and I'm noticing that lots of early childhood programs are back to using worksheets and PreK is the new Kindergarten Kindergarten is the new First grade and kids are stressed out. The other night over dinner Felix asked me, "Why don't you just teach the way you know how?" I go to work the next day sit on the floor with my kids and begin to sing The More We Get Together. The kids love it. Next they make their "own" Valentines for their families. The results were priceless, the writing was great and we did it with NO WORKBOOKS. Maybe teaching really is a work of heart. I have to revisit my Early Childhood Roots, maybe take a class at Bank Street and go forward from there.

Bossy Bear's Perspective

I wasn't always bossy, at least I didn't think so. My new nickname at work is Bossy Bear. Sometimes I forget. I'll say to the kids in my class, give me that pencil or bring me the paper. I forget to say please. Or at the library, I'll say this is what I think. Do what I say, I know about this. Just shoot me I teach. Teachers tell people what to do. I think (know) I do thingds the right way. So if I say don't touch my books. It's because I don't want my "system" messed up. People think I'm opiniated and I say what's on my mind. The truth is if people knew what I really thought, they'd be shocked. People can be real stupid. They really act stupid say stupid things. I listen to the crap they say and think, "Should I be insulted because they're lying or because the lie they're telling is blatent that I'd have to be retarded to belive them." Then when my face registers disapproval or I say something people say I'm bossy or opiniated. Go Figure.

In the Blink of an Eye

Today I found out that one of my husband's friends was in the same room as six people who were shout at the University of Alabama. We recently received a group email planning a reunion of my husband's BU group,(of which this friend is a member). I was ruminating and thinking wow, a week in Virginia with all those folks. Will I be able to get the time off work? Will I still be teaching what about Gianna? and now to read and hear about this. My mother used to say, "What doesn't happen in a year will happen in a day." Things can change in the blink of an eye. The next time I/we/you get upset about something ask yourself, "Will this matter five years from now? Five months? Five days? Five minutes?!"